Saturday, October 16, 2010

Owie....my butt hurts

Some days you just know are going to be unbelievable, some....not so much.  This morning was really fun, my son had a Jr Pee Wee football game, we tied!  Hey - it's not a win but it's the closest we've been this season.  He was a team captain and got to go out for the coin toss, he had some pretty darn impressive blocks.  It was a great morning. 

I was faced with the unfortunate realization that sometimes, try as we might, wish as much as we can, what we want isn't always what happens.  So, I decided as I sat in my cloudy mood, that physical pain was much better than what my mind was doing to me.  Since I got my last tattoo, my friend Rachelle placed a ban on them for me.  I decided to take my bike out for a spin.  It's been a lot of years, I have no idea really of how many since I've been on a bike.  The bike I have is called a road bike.  What I can tell about a road bike is that it has teeny, tiny, skinny tires AND a teeny, tiny, skinny, puny, itty, bitty almost non existent SEAT!  I'm guessing the name "Road Bike" means you feel like you've been "road" hard and put up wet.  None of that really seemed to bother me as I hopped on to check the tires and the seat height adjustment.  Well, I keep hearing about this bike path to Sutter, really, how hard can it be?  Flat, flat, flat and only ten miles.  I drop the truck at Irma's place, jump on my ROAD BIKE and pedal off. 

It's good....I'm cruising...messing with the gears....trying not to look as nervous as I actually am.  I have my long shorts on, my tie dyed shirt and lip balm...This is going to be a breeze.  Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought.  There weren't tons of people to see me test the lower part of the handle bars, where the actual brakes are for the first time.  I would have laughed...oh, wait....I did.  I felt like I was riding around with my assets in the air....and quite frankly I have a lot of assetts.  Got the brakes under control, got the shifting thing down and figured I had to be half way there...right?   OHHHHH NOOOO...someone had kindly marked on the path just how far you've gone.....a mile....ONE mile....wow...this ride is going to leave a mark on my assetts.  It was great.  The further out of Yuba City I got the more familiar the sights and smells were.  I grew up in the mid-west.  I loved the smell of the corn, the trees, the horses just about everything on the farm.  As I pedalled along, I was greeted with views of farms that reminded me of Auntie Velm and Uncle Duane's farm when we had the ponies, the mini bike and those damn chickens.  The summer I learned to detassel corn, cover a hickey and drink beer.  I miss you cousins!!!  Great memories.  Then as I made it to Sutter the path went between grain silos, wow, talk about blast from the past, the smell of that rice was the exact smell of the corn in the fall back home.  My thoughts turned from my aching assets to my dad, my uncle and the wonderful times on the farms.  I miss you guys, you're always in my heart and on my heart.  I made it to Sutter and the end of the path so I turned around and started back.   I cruised home at a decent rate, great memories of my childhood keeping me company.   So, it really was a great first ride. 

I'm sure I'll pay for this tomorrow and Monday - who cares?  Mom was right again, physical activity gets you out of those funky moods we all get in.  I used to think she just wanted me to clean the house. :)

First bike ride....check! 

Friday, October 15, 2010

I'M SWEATING!

If you know me at all you know...I don't sweat...ever.  It's 5:15 AM or so and I'm at circle park sweating.  BLEH.  I usually just turn red and look like my head is going to explode when I'm hot but nooooo now as I run full laps around this little park I swear...I mean sweat.  Even the hood on my sweatshirt is hot.  I've found that I can make a full lap around the park and walk a half lap and yes...I'm still alive.  At the end of my little trek I usually shoot for a goal of running a mile and walking at least two.  I'm curious if people have noticed the weird woman in the orange sweatshirt dragging herself around their neighborhood.  I'm sure to get a visit from Marysville Police one of these mornings and with my luck I will fit the description of the burglar down the street.  I used to be nervous that I'd know the officer, there are so many new ones now I'm nervous that I won't know them and they'll haul me away.

The toad was out again the morning it rained last week.  I pray I don't step on it - it's HUGE and I would surely get toad guts on my shoe and probably fall or... it might increase my distance that day - BLEH!

You know who's out at 5:15 AM?  People with dogs that don't want to pick up the dog presents.  As a parent of children who have stepped on these presents - PICK UP YOUR DOG SHIP!  Jeez folks, doesn't karma ever get them?  Seriously, if Chili ever did that and I left it I would surely fall into a truck load of the crap headed for a local farm.  I see these people in the parks....thank you lazy bastages....I hope you step in it and get into your car...and have to turn on the heater and you scrape your shoe against the vent  :)  Ahhhh I feel better now. 

So...I'm still alive.  See you soon!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

TOAD

Some place to swim....check.  A bike.....check.  Running shoes.....no...ick...owie...um....YUCK.  Hey!  I don't often admit it but I'm related to some people who absolutely love to run.  They love running so much they have a running shoe, running clothes, running gadgets kind of store!  Every family has a freak and Toad is ours.  Feeling sick?  Run   Need to think?  Run   Fresh air?  Run   Wanna relax?  Run   One of my favorite childhood memories is of Toad.  He used to, and still does, run track.  We lived in Pocahontas, Iowa.  I would race across the track after each event that he ran and take him his huge jug of orange juice.   There was one race that sticks in my mind.  It was a relay, Tom was running his leg...as they began the hand off Tom ended up on the ground covered in red cinders, in slow motion, I swear!, Tom handed the baton to Toad.  Even as a kid I was broken hearted, then Toad took off as if he was running from Mom after she caught him trying to light the ditches on fire.  In my mind, he won the race, I'm old...let me have my memories the way I want them :).  That race was an excellent example of the Keleher spirit.  Take what you want and run like hell...no no no.  Life is going to throw you on the ground, you gotta roll life over, pick up your spirit and come from behind to kick every one's ass.   Share life lesson for the day....check. 

So I pack up the littles and head to Burlingame to the finest running store EVER....A Runner's Mind, 1199 Howard Avenue, Burlingame, CA.    Monte, had me stand, walk, walk some more outside and found the perfect pair of shoes....well....accept they're running shoes.  OOOO they are comfy and they look cute with my jeans.  Seriously, I hate running but these shoes are so sweet I might actually be kind of excited about taking them home and setting them by my "running" stuff.  HAHAHAH I'll have to post a picture of my "running stuff".  One of these days I'm going to make another trip to Burlingame and get one of those so stinking cute running skirts.  Give me a few months so my jigglie parts aren't quite so jigglie.   So now it's time to pay up on the bribe to the kids.  We head to the candy shop which is right across the street from A Runner's Mind.  I found magnetic, white, reflective ghost shapes.  I had to have them for the truck.  After the bribes were purchased we "ran" across the street, yes, I was winded after just that!  I showed my sisterinlaw Jenny my so darn cute ghosties and told her they would make people go oooooooo when the car lights caught them.  She made me say it again they would go ooooooo and there was a silly little motion with my hands.  If you know me none of that surprises you, I do lots of demonstrations of what people do...it adds more to the bar stories.  So we all get a giggle over what the people are going to do when they see the ghosts.  I pack up the littles and we are headed home.

FLASH to Monday morning.  It's 4:30am and my alarm is going off.  Hit the snooze and pray.  4:45 am again it goes off.  Roll out of bed, remember my new shoes and start getting dressed.  Toss the laundry in the dryer and out the door I go.  WALKING...a person has to warm up you know.  So I jog a block then walk to the park where I plan on jogging around and around and around.  It's called Circle Park...because it's in kind of a circle.   I almost made it around - it was say 3/4 around when my lungs were screaming, my legs were, well...they were fine.  I walked a bit ran a bit walked a bit ran a bit cursed the idiot who said I would do this....then I was feeling pretty good.  It's 5:45 AM and I'm out here doing something I swore I would NEVER EVER do and I'm doing it because I WANT to....not for anyone but me.  Can I get a HELL YEAH!  Anyway, the guy who lives on the corner and goes to work at about 5:45 pulls out of his garage, I jog across the street and as I jump onto the sidewalk I see a blob about the size of half my foot hop.  His car lights hit me as I see this and karma kicks me in the fanny once again, I'm making that little OOOOO sound that I made when I was teasing Jenny about what people would say at our ghosties on the truck - to top it off - I'm making the gesture that goes with it.  I'm sure that toad was scared by my little sound.  GAD...no scream?  No blood curdling scream?  If I'm ever attacked how am I going to get any one's attention?  OOOOOO  bah - maybe it was because I had no air left in my lungs from running....I'm sure that's what the problem was.  Well, TOAD, I missed you Monday, but you're on my list!!!  With the trash cans, skunks, sprinklers and a few homeless people....  Officially....day one was a success!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Da Plane....Da Plane.....

It's the weekend after the AFLAK Tri (that's what the cool kids call it) in South Lake Tahoe.  I need a bike, I could try to ride Sarah's little pink one but it's a little flashy for me.  Being a thrifty shopper I start looking on Craig's list.  There's a guy with a few bikes for sale, he's in Chico, that's close.  I call and speak with a normal sounding guy named Phil.  I ask him about the bikes tell him why I want it and he says come take a look.  Now, I'm not stupid....I called Irma.   We decided to head to Chico to look at a few bikes.  About half way there Irma looks at me with that very serious "Irma look" and says, " we're not going to a bike shop are we?"  LOL  NO....bike shops are for wimps!  We're going to meet Phil who has been working on bikes for 50 years!!  duh.  

My phone is very important to me, I use it for GPS, EMAIL, TXT, WTHR, PIX, NET and once in a while a phone call.  So the GPS is pretty easy to use we're close so I pull over and call Phil to let him know we're in the area.  I just happened to pull over in front of an area that is heavily wooded with a small drive leading back to...more trees.  Phil says he's waiting, Irma locks her door and I pull away from the freaky wooded path to more woods.  Irma gives me a courtesy laugh and says, "I'm NOT going down that path into the woods."   The blue dot meets the red dot on my GPS which means you've arrived.  We had, indeed arrived....at another freaky path into the woods but it was....smaller and more woodsieish.  At the end of the woodsie freakishness you could see a pile-o-bikes, we must be here!  Irma gives me the Irminator look but I resist...I need a bike!    We forge on in the general direction of the pile-o-bikes and poof on the left is an outdoor living room area thingy - TV and all.  An old van, that may have served as the master bedroom and a HUGE shed.  I squeezed the truck into what may have served as the fitness area/parking space.   We'd come too far, we would look chicken if we left now!  I hopped out trying to be cool and not look weak or scared.  Phil emerged from the living area, he was 6'5" and as big around as my arm.  My first thought was something that Irma had recently said to me, "You only have to be able to run faster than your friend."   I shook his hand, we looked at the pile-o-bikes.  Then in the midst of explaining why the rusty bike was better than the new bike a plane flew over.  I had visions of Phil screaming,"INCOMING!!  HIT THE DIRT!"  Pulling out one of those machine guns with the rows and rows of bullets and taking aim at whatever moved.  I had sized up his little dog and was prepared to grab the ugly little thing so Irma and I could use it as a negotiations tool if need be.  The plane passed, Phil's attention came back and I realized I had not brought any money.  I was able to negotiate a 500 point turn out of the fitness area/parking space and we were back on the tiny little trail out of the place where Deliverance was filmed.  I just wanted a bike - so we went to the ATM and once again made the drive down Phil's path.  We ignored the creepy banjo music, grabbed the bike and bailed as fast as that truck would go. 

I have a bike!  Oh, jeez, that's one less excuse....  Have you seen road bike tires?  Man, they're puny....and the seat....where's the rest of the seat?  This might just leave a mark.....

Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm gonna tri this now.....

Hi.  My name is Robyn.  I'm a short, round 45 year old woman.  Life has really been working me over the last year or so, showing me how strong I really am.   I've learned a lot of lessons, which, have become some of the funniest bar stories there are.  I work with 40 women, we rarely agree on anything, don't you dare hurt one of us or you deal with all of us.  Some of us are closer than others.  Once in a while you come across a person that you share everything with.  Someone who knows more about you than any other person.  Well, that person for me is my best friend Devon, she's been through the tears, cheers and she's even pledged to toss me off a mountain strapped to a sled if I'm ever paralyzed....yes, I asked her to....isn't that what friends do?  She is also in charge of property destruction if something bad happens to me.  You get the idea.

Well one day Devon asks me if I want to participate in a Triathlon with her and Glenda.  My obvious answer was HELL NO....ARE YOU NUTZ?  I've seen those people on TV running until they are messing their shorts, falling down and doing crazy stuff...no....not now....not ever....get away from me you sadist!   I thought it over and decided I would follow them in my truck and pick up their lifeless and possibly pooh covered bodies to drag them back home.  Mostly because this plan included hanging in a hot tub and having a few drinks the night before the big event.  Honestly, I didn't think they would do it.  People are crazy.

Flash forward a few months.  It's the day before the AFLAC Iron Girl Triathlon in South Lake Tahoe.  The team, Devon, Glenda and Roxanna are already there doing the pre-tri thing (it sounds like it was worth the entry fee just to go hang out there on the day before).  I'm on my way up the hill to South Lake Tahoe, Tiki
(another sister from work) is on her way up the hill also.  As it turns out we all arrived at the house about the same time.  The beer was cold, the hot tub was warm (which is the way I like it) the atmosphere was awesome.  We had an awesome dinner.  Everyone hopped into the hot tub, we took turns sitting in the corner with no seat  - ok - i sort of stood in the corner - I'm short - what can I say....  The superstars bid us good evening at 9:30.  The rest of us stayed in the hot tub and had an impromptu intervention (thanks guys - I'm listening).  We talked until after mid-night.  That weekend was starting out so great, my best friend and sisters were about to do something I was more than terrified to even try.  My good friend Tiki and I admitted we are both butt heads and hugged ending an agonizing year plus of missed memories.  I was smiling for so many reasons, honestly, life was good.

Aflak......AFlak......AFLAK!!!!!!  It's 4:30 AM and Roxanna stepped on the Aflak duck - so our morning started with uncontrollable laughter and huge silly smiles.  We rushed the superstars out the door, cleaned, packed and zipped down the hill to watch THE EVENT.  I was so nervous, what if I really did have to drag one of them home?   These girls are WACK JOBS for even trying this.   We got to the staging area, made signs, it was talk like a pirate day also!! Argh!!  Then we raced to the beach.  As we got closer....you couldn't help but move to the music.  Then we saw them...seas of yellow swim caps, fields of green swim caps and a whole bunch of red ones.  Devon explained they were the age groups - then - it was very clearly pointed out that  if I had been participating I wouldn't have gotten a green cap with them...I would have been with the old geezers in the red caps.  The music was loud and up so no one died because of that comment.  Soon the green wave entered the water....I jumped around screaming as loud as I could, mostly in an effort to avoid tears.  If I stopped screaming the tears were going to flow, yeah, weird I know.  As soon as the girls hit the water they all looked the same. We ran to the exit mat, raised our signs and screamed for everyone coming out of the water.  The air was alive.  Soon we were on our way up the hill to the bikes.   The girls had gotten separated by now, Christina and I walked with Roxanna, we hopped she knew where the heck she was going.  Soon she entered the staging area, got on her bike and rode away.  Left with not knowing anyone we cheered for everyone, high fives, knuckle bumps we stopped short of that thing fat guys do when they run at each other and smack bellies.  We caught glimpses of the girls coming in from the bike ride then taking off for the run.  We screamed and cheered, tryin to hide more tears.  As Glenda ran down the chute to begin the 5K Santos was running along side her cheering her on.  A contestant ran up to him and asked if that was his wife - he proudly said she was.  This woman who had already swam, biked and ran asked if he thought Glenda would mind the company.  That, that was the spirit of the weekend....  Women without bitchiness.  It was so inspiring to stand there.  I was wearing cowboy boots and jeans and I wanted to jump that fence and run with Roxana.  Mind you I HATE FREAKING RUNNING!, but I felt like I could do it.  Yeah, I was probably still a bit tipsy from the night before, I blame the tears on that also.  :)  So, our girls finished, they finished.....THEY FINISHED!!  (no one poohed themselves, thank heavens).

That's how I got here.  Something took a hold of me there in the parking lot and said, "you gotta do this, you have to experience this and you've got to tell everyone you're going to do it!"  Thank heavens I don't listen to the voices in my head all that often....this time I did.  So, if you like, come along with me.  I can guarantee there will be lots of laughing, a little crying, some cussing and major amounts of celebrating along the way.